The Follow Up Post

I feel like my last post could use a follow up post. I've been talking with different people about my infertility post and have been feeling a lot of love. Many of you have shared your stories with me and have reached out just to say you love me. I have appreciated every single comment, text, and conversation. I was a little hesitant to share my story for a number of reasons, but I am very glad I did. Here are a few things I would like to share now that it's out there....

Mom life seriously is the best life. 

Having these two in my life still blows my mind every time I think about it. Sometimes I just watch them and tear up, because I can't believe they are mine. I don't want more kids because these two aren't enough. They are everything. Adding to our family would only make it MORE awesome. 

One reason I was hesitant to share my fertility trials is because I don't want to be someone you have to hide your happiness from. Truthfully, it does sting when I hear "everyone is pregnant" or that you get pregnant so easily it's ridiculous. However, I do want to celebrate with you. I don't want my loved ones to hesitate letting me know how excited they are or how they can't wait for baby to arrive. I don't want people to tip toe around talking about their joy because I'm standing there listening. There are ways to be sensitive about my struggle and still share your life with me. I have been pregnant before. I know it isn't all roses. It's ok if you let me know you are just the sickest. I won't get upset because you are complaining about something I yearn for. I've been in that moment, and it can be the worst! I feel like I have the unique experience of standing in both worlds. I am able to sympathize with many different situations. I also think that sharing others joy with them will help me to not get stuck on my own stuff. Connecting with friends and loved ones is always a good thing. 

I'm currently working on staying in this happy, fulfilled, full of faith place. I've finally made it here, and I don't want to lose the momentum. Infertility can be such a rollercoaster of feelings and moods. I don't want to get back on that rollercoaster. I still have my sad moments and even a little crazy, but it's about feeling the sad for a little and moving back to the happy. I don't want to dwell in the sad. I've learned that it's through faith in God and his plan that keeps me in the happy. I was seriously resigned to the fact that "well I guess this pessimistic, unhappy person is just who I am now." It wasn't true. I can be better. I can be so much better. The nature of a person can actually change through the Atonement and love of Jesus Christ. Am I getting a little preachy? Good. :)  It's what I have literally experienced in my life. I am living proof. I truly believe that you can fill up any hole in your life with God's love, and it will end up overflowing. That doesn't mean you forget the hole was ever there. It means you can have a happy life despite the hole developing in the first place. 

One last follow up. People experience trials in different ways. We are all going through something. We have all had to try and navigate through our own storms. It is definitely impossible to do it perfectly. Be a little more patient with people. Be a little more understanding. Stick with those people through the rough patches. Don't bail out because their sadness is uncomfortable for you. You don't always have to say the perfect thing. Just being there with your love is enough. I really appreciate those people who didn't bail on me, because I wasn't acting like who they wanted me to be. 

 

That's all for now.

(One more picture because they are just so dang cute.)