Holy Crap. I'm a Mom.

My sister Nicole recently helped me make a discovery about myself, and I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

I like to talk about feelings.

Haha. We were discussing about how our Dad always made us sit down and talk about how we were feeling about things. (marriage and family therapist eh?) He always wanted our feedback, and always made us talk to him even if we were beyond pissed at him. Some times it was so annoying, but I feel like it has made me a very open person. I never realized how much I like to talk it out until I married Ben. Ben does not like to talk about feelings. heh. He always lets me know he loves me and such, but if he's mad there is just no "let me know what's going on" kinda talk. (I feel like this is how most men are actually.) It can be quite frustrating, but I'm sure that's a whole other post. :) Anyways, what I mean is, I am always letting people know how things affect me. It's so hard for me to not let people know when they make me happy or hurt me.

SO, what I'm getting at is-- I am about to talk a whole lot about my feelings so get ready! If you aren't that type of person, stop reading and leave my blog forever. haha jk. But I'm about to smack you with a whole lot of mushy-ness.

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Holy Crap. I'm a Mom.

My Dad recently leaned over to me while I was holding Paxton, and said "Nanny, (my dorky name he's always called me) you are a Mom." We then had this mushy moment where we were both just in awe of Paxton, and the fact that he's my little boy. It made me realize again just how lucky I am.

Ben and I were BEYOND excited when we found out I was pregnant, and even more so when we found out it was a little boy. (You can go back and read my posts during that time and just tell I was busting at the seams with the news.) However, when he was born we had such a scare, we were faced with possibly loosing this wonderful baby we wanted so badly. But he's here, and he's healthy, and my life is wonderful with him in it.

..................

I will just sit and stare at him while he sleeps.

I risk loosing sleep so that I can snuggle with him a little longer.

I take a million pictures of him so I can document everything. (You know this)

I am getting all misty just thinking about him asleep in the other room.

There is nothing I look forward to more than making him giggle.

I want so much for him.

I would do anything for him.

I start to miss him when he's asleep for a while.

Every day I want to teach and show him about faith.

I feel like we have whole conversations even though he doesn't respond with real words.

I love that he needs me so much right now.

He's got me wrapped around his little finger.

I am really concerned that he enjoys quality music. haha.

I am already so proud of him.

I see his Dad in him.

I like to slick his hair and show him off.

His fabulous skin color makes me jealous.

Even when I am really upset about something, he makes a cute little noise or expression, and I melt into happiness.

I'm pretty sure we have the same sense of humor.

He makes me a way better person.

He's perfect.

...................

The list could go on and on. I just can't believe that I could be so lucky as to be his mommy.