My Baby Bird

This picture cracks me up.

I was taking pictures for his baby announcements

and about the time we were both over it he gives me this one.

Haha. He looks like a little baby bird for some reason.

Man, he's so stinking cute.

The Story...

So I have been putting off this post because 1. I didn't really want to explain everything that has happened and 2. I didn't want to think about all of it again. BUT...I think it will be good for later on when my attempt at blocking out those horrible days works, and I can't remember what happened. SO, here I go.

On March 10, 2010 Ben and I went into the hospital at 9:00pm to start the induction process. The night went by surprisingly fast and the next morning (the 11th) we started with the induction pretty early in the morning. The day went really smoothly (of course I had drugs) and each time the nurse came in I had progressed even more. I was surprised at how fast I was progressing and by 1:00 in the afternoon the nurse said I was ready to push. ~Skipping all that fun stuff~ Paxton was born on March 11, 2010 at 1:41pm. When the nurses did the initial assessment Paxton seemed perfect so after I was done being fixed up, all our family came in and Paxton was passed around. I was even able to breast feed for the first time and hold Paxton for a while after he was born. I feel bad now knowing that he was sick, and we were all passing him around keeping him from going to the nursery.

(me looking hot right after. haha)

(Daddy got to hold Paxton for a long time)

(he was so happy to have his little boy)

After that, he was taken to the nursery to get cleaned up and checked out. While Paxton was in the nursery we all moved to another room and started all that fun "postpartum teaching" from one of the nurses. After a while, a nurse from the nursery and Paxton's pediatrician came in the room saying they had some news to give us about Paxton. They said that after Paxton got a bath he started grunting while breathing and was having difficulty catching his breath. They said that they were waiting on lab work but that he was being given oxygen. They thought he might have aspirated meconium causing his respiratory difficulty. They said that depending on the lab work he would either stay in the nursery or go to NICU. As soon as they said NICU I felt awful. This was not where I wanted Paxton, and I knew that if he went there he wouldn't just come right out.

So we had a hard time holding it together while we waited for the lab work, and when it came back the NICU Doctor announced Paxton must be 'rushed' to NICU. Yes, they used the word rushed and I lost it. Immediately my Dad and Ben went to the nursery to give Paxton a blessing. I have no doubt in my mind that the healing blessing Ben gave to Paxton saved him. One of the reasons they rushed Paxton to the NICU was because his white blood cell count (important in fighting infection) was 1.5. The normal on the lab slip for babies is at least 9. Later we were told that babies with a count that low had a mortality rate of 9 out of 10. I am so glad they didn't tell me that was how bad it was that night. However, after Paxton's blessing they did more lab work and his WBC count was already a 5, and the very next day it had doubled to a normal number. If that isn't a miracle I don't know what is. So they took our little boy to NICU, and all we really knew was that it might be meconium aspiration. We actually went down to NICU that night to see him and he was only under an oxygen hood.

The next morning was probably the worst day of our lives. They called us very early that morning from NICU and told us Paxton had to be intubated and was on a ventilator. They called again that morning and asked for consents to place all these lines in him to give medicine. After those calls Ben and I were distraught. We just sat on my hospital bed and cried together. I knew that it had to be more serious than they said, and that he would be there for a while if he was on the ventilator. That day we continued to get bad news after bad news. They told us that his infection had made him septic (meaning it was in the blood stream now and very dangerous), and that his condition was very unstable. They told us that Paxton had Group B Strep (which I had tested negative for) and that was what caused his septicemia.

(here is Paxton with all his tubes :( i don't like these pictures now)

(it was hard not being able to hold him. they didn't really even let us touch him much)

I will skip a ton of stuff because this post could be 38478435748 words long. After the initial horrible day things started progressing in the other direction pretty fast. Paxton was given many blessings by my Dad and Ben, and I can't even tell you the number of people that said they were praying for Paxton. He started to rapidly improve and everyday we were given better news. His tests started coming back with good results, and his Dr and the nurses were all blown away by how quickly he was healing. After a few days I was discharged from the hospital and had to leave Paxton there :( That was another rough day. Ben and I made so many trips to the hospital after that, and when I could finally start breast feeding I was up there every 3 hours. I got very sick of that hospital!!

(here is the first day we were able to hold him again. that was a good day)

Through all of that, I was really grateful for my nursing knowledge because the Doctor was able to explain things to me, and I understood what was going on. My ICU experience really ended up paying off because we were able to take Paxton home 4 days early to finish antibiotics at home. We are grateful for a wonderful Doctor and kind nurses who made the experience a lot better than it could have been. We are grateful to family members for taking turns driving me to the hospital and bringing us meals. Our families were so supportive and wonderful! We are SO grateful for all the prayers and kind words. I really believe we wouldn't have made it through without all those prayers. We are grateful to our Father in heaven and our Savior for healing our little boy and for the blessing that he has been in our lives. I am grateful for a wonderful husband who took such great care of me while I was healing and who was definitely my rock during those tough times. He was so wonderful and, everyday I just marvel at how lucky I am to have him. Words cannot express how grateful we are to everyone for everything. I wish I could thank each person individually for the love they showed us, but there are just to many people who have reached out to us. We are just overwhelmed with gratitude and love.

(here is Paxton the morning after our first night together. he was happy to be with us.)

(he was crying cause he wanted to go home already! this was his going home outfit he finally got to wear!)

The day finally came (10 days after Paxton was born) that we were able to take little boy home. We spent the night before at the hospital with Paxton and finally got out of there Monday, March 22 at about 5:00pm. It was of course a very happy day for all of us. AND NOW...life is great. Paxton is healthy and a wonderful addition to our family! He is our little miracle baby who was so tough and fought so hard. He is such a strong, sweet little boy. There is no doubt in my mind he has some pretty wonderful things to do in this life! So after all the horrible things and feelings we realize how blessed we are and lucky to have Paxton. I can't wait to be a full time mom!

(he's beautiful huh? MANY more pictures to come!)

Paxton Cruz Benavides

March 11, 2010. 1:41 pm. 6lbs. 14oz.

I'm sure most of you know what has been going on and maybe I'll blog about it later, but for right now I am focusing on the good things. Like his beautiful face :) We love him so much, and we are so grateful for him in our lives!

The Date.

Today we went to the Doctor's office and scheduled the induction. She said since I was progressing already everything looked good to schedule for a few days early. We scheduled it for exactly two weeks from today so little Paxton will be born on:

March 11, 2010.

(hopefully, haha) That is really only 6 days before the due date anyways. I am just glad I won't have to go way over my due date. I feel like I have waited long enough for little boy :0) haha. We are so excited! I am sure these next two weeks will just fly by, and then it will really hit me! I think we are mostly ready so let's all hope everything goes smoothly on that day!

Lately...again...

1. I am obsessed with crunching ice. The hospital ice is just like Sonic ice and the whole time I'm at work I crunch it. Today I made Ben get me a big bag of Sonic ice...since FRIDAY IS MY LAST DAY!! WOO HOO!!

2. Yes, Friday is my last day of full time nursing! I only work Monday and Friday this week, but then I am on maternity leave. After that, I will come back "on call" which means I only really need to work one shift a month. Beautiful.

3. I am so excited to be a mom! I am just in pure baby mode now, and I love it so much. After my shower I have only been thinking baby. Ben and I have been non-stop shopping with the gift cards we got, and I am constantly thinking of stuff we need. I don't sleep very well at night either so I sit up and think of everything we still have left to get or do.

4. We go for our appointment tomorrow and make the final decision on inducing or not. I am leaning towards doing it, but we'll see what my doctor says tomorrow. If we do I could possibly have this little guy in 2 weeks. AHHH!

5. My charge nurses threw me a baby shower last night. It was so sweet. There was tons of food, and I got some really cute stuff! I feel so blessed to have people in my life that do such thoughtful things for me. Thank you cards just don't seem to be enough. There are a number of people I am really going to miss working with all the time.

6. Last night Ben and I were throwing a football around and he stopped and looked at me and said, "I'm gonna have a little boy to throw a football with now." While he said this he had the biggest smile on his face. Awww. He tries to play it cool most of the time, but I totally know he is just so excited!

I WILL POST WHAT WE DECIDE TOMORROW

Baby Shower!

So my baby shower was on Saturday, and it went WONDERFULLY! My Mom and sister Nicole did TONS of work for it, and it just looked beautiful! All my favorite people showed up, and I got some great stuff for Paxton. Here are a few pictures of presents and such. We really didn't get too many pictures, but we were having fun so it's ok. If you want to see more of the fabulous decorations go to Nicole's blog to see them.

Here is a picture of the food spread. Yummy.

Here are some pictures of opening presents...

I had such good friends there helping me open. Megan drove from Fort Worth to be there for me :) (the beautiful lady to my right) My nurse friend Jillian was also a big help! (she's right next to Megan) And of course my sister Roxanne was right there to help record what everyone got Paxton.

Baby stuff is just so dang cute!

My long time friend Shandi was also there. I went to her baby shower and now she was at mine :)

Here is a picture of me and Nicole. This picture was taken at the very end so keep in mind that I was tired and not feeling as great as I was in the beginning. haha. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful sister who put so much work into my shower. She really went above and beyond. My Mom let us use her house and naturally was a huge help as well. I just felt so blessed and loved on Saturday. Everyone who came made it so wonderful, and I am so grateful for everyone who helped us get ready for little Paxton.

Baby Update

Ok so Ben and I went to an extra ultrasound appointment on Wednesday because last time they told us that Paxton was small. Not scary small, they just wanted to get another ultrasound to make sure he kept growing.

However, when we went, we found out that he went from the 20th percentile group to the 12th percentile group as far as size. Because he isn't really growing at the rate someone decided babies should grow at, they decided to do a non-stress test and schedule weekly ultrasounds and non-stress tests.

When the Doctor was telling me this I think he was waiting for me to freak out. I did not however. In fact I must say I am pretty OK with a smaller baby. Everything else about him is healthy, and I really only have like 3 weeks left. If this had been going on the whole time I would be freaked out. I don't know. He really isn't even that small. My Doctor said she wasn't worried because he will probably still be a 7 lb baby.

The other thing she brought up was if I wanted to be induced. I have always had pretty strong feelings against being induced unless its for safety purposes but she really got me thinking about it. She was asking if I wanted to do it a week early. Ive thought about it a lot and here is my list of things I like and don't like about this idea:

Don't Like

1. I only want my kid to come if he's ready

2. I don't want to have a C-section. I feel like a lot of times they induce and the baby isn't ready so they don't progress and end up being cut open. I don't want this.

3. A week early is like 2 weeks away and that freaks me out!

4. I never wanted to induce just for convenience

Like

1. It will work better with Ben's job to have a set date

2. I will for sure have my Doctor deliver him

3. I won't end up being 2 weeks past my due date and miserable

4. I want my kid! haha.

I could be over thinking this whole thing but it really is an important decision, and of course everyone has different opinions on the topic! She wants me to be able and let her know by next Thursday. I asked Ben and of course he was like "Whatever you want to do." I might just wait and see if I have progressed more by next appointment and if he's grown at all. I will probably end up making my decision based on those two things. If he isn't growing well inside he will grow better outside. I just love him and can't wait to see him! Ill update on what I decide!

My Nephew

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my little nephew Spencer. I have been talking about him a lot, and looking at all the pictures I have of him. He has been such a wonderful addition to the family. He is so full of personality, and he makes me laugh every time I see him. I am always hoping that my little boy will be like Spencer. Lately he has been really interested in my growing tummy. Every time I see him, the first thing he does is look at my stomach and say "There's a baby in there!" and then I say, "Yes Spencer. It's Paxton." His next reply is always "I wanna see." haha. So cute. I can't wait for Spencer to meet my little boy. I just know he will be so exited and curious. Nicole has always let me use him for my model so I have quite a few pictures of him! Here are some of my favorite pics of my little Spency.

Here is me and Ben holding him the day after he was born :) We were so excited!


This picture I actually took with my phone one day when I was holding him. I just love it. He looks so cute! He was a sweet baby.

This is one I took at Legacy Play Village. What a little stud!

Here is one I like of Ben and Spencer just hanging out. Spencer just cracks Ben up all the time.

This is just one we took for fall. Best blue eyes EVER.

He can be so silly!

What a handsome boy!

This picture I took at Preston's baseball game. It makes me laugh every time I see it! haha. He's gonna be a heart breaker. :)

He loves his Tia!

We love you so much Spencer! Ben and I are so proud you are our nephew!

Lately...

1. I feel huge

2. I wonder if you can get stretch marks on your ankles...

I bought the cutest pair of flats the other day, and when I got them home they suddenly didn't fit me anymore :(

3. I have been on a 'shopping for cute Paxton clothes' rampage. Someone take Old Navy away from me!

4. That lovely nausea that I had in the beginning is back...not as horrifically, yet still there.

5. I have been avoiding taking pictures. I haven't taken a belly pic since 30 weeks...I'm about to be 36.

6. Ok. I lied. I took one at 34 weeks but I hate it cause my face looks all puffy. My nose might be growing too...which is a bad thing.

7. I am so excited for Paxton to come.

8. I love baby boy hats. I feel like if I can't do the cute bow thing, then I need to have cute hats. Baby heads can be weird shapes.

9. I'm ready to feel like myself again.

10. The idea of a breast pump kinda freaks me out.

11. I feel much better about having my blog be private. There are some weird folks out there. I mostly blog for me anyways.

12. I am addicted to Mug Root beer. I have always been a water person, but lately I need Mug Root beer to be happy.

13. Every time I say "I am huge" someone always feels like they have to say "You aren't huge at all!" Its ok everyone. I FEEL huge. Let it be.

14. Do other Moms feel the need to put their child in clothes like their Dad wears? I have been buying stuff lately cause it looks like things Ben has. I think matching is cute. He is a little weirded out by it.

15. Can you tell I am baby crazy by the way that almost every one of these points are about my kid? He isn't even here yet. What will my blog be like after he's born?

16. I've never cared about Valentines Day. It's just not that big of a deal.

17. My dogs have been being so bad lately. I wonder if they know some things are about to get real different for them.

18. I feel so lucky to be married to Ben. He makes me laugh all the time. He's gonna be such a good dad.

19. I am still working nursing 12 hour shifts, full time, at night. I'm over it.

That's all.

Going Private

Ok. So I am going private with my blog!
Lately I have been getting a ton of really ridiculous comments from anonymous people, and its getting annoying. Also, I don't want just anyone to be able to get on and read about me and my family. Someone googled my name and found a ton of my blog pictures. Not what I want. SO, if you want to be able to read the blog just leave your email and I will add you to the list. Thanks!

Ummm...hopefully not!

Haha. Well I decided to do one of those baby face generators and here is what Paxton could possibly look like...yikes.

There is also this option...which I actually like better. It's good to know that my kid could possibly come out with a full grill.

Now I'm not sure how much of our faces they even used, but I think the results are pretty funny.

Hopefully not what our kid looks like.

Thank you rewards program!!

So at work we have this rewards program that gives you points for certain things. I usually get a ton of points just for working on the floor I work on. We are usually awarded the 5 star floor award based on patient satisfaction, and I get a butt load of points for that. Once you get the points you can go on the website and order things with your points. Anyways, since I have been working there I haven't really gotten on and seen what you can buy with your points or used any of mine. Well, my friend (also due in March) was telling me she was ordering a few things for her baby room on the site, and so naturally I got on and looked at what you could get for baby. Turns out, I got two things I have really been wanting with my points! I'm excited!

First of all I got a glider. Everyone I have talked to has sworn that my life will be way better with a glider. So I trust this. The glider was something I wanted but didn't really want to spend the money on since we need other things more. But with my points I got a great one!

The other baby item I got was a Moby Baby Wrap. Now, I have been obsessed with finding a great baby carrier because I know I am weak and will want one. haha. I actually found this one on Babies R Us online and watched all the videos about it. It looks kinda complicated, but gets all the stars on customer ratings. So, I decided this was the one I wanted, but once again didn't really want to buy one. Well, I found it on the rewards website and was excited it was in my point range. I got the navy blue one.

I am super excited to get my new baby stuff! I also got the necklace I ordered and I LOVE IT! It is perfect! Everyone should go look at her website!

the NAME!!

Ok. So I am so serious about baby names. (You will definitely understand just how passionate by the end of this post) I had lists of names I liked way before Ben and I even decided we were ready to have a baby. Names are really important to me. I was very passionate about picking out the right name for our little boy. I also think it is so important that I am dedicating a whole post to my little boy's name. :)
When I found out I was pregnant I immediately started looking for the perfect name for a girl or a boy. All my lists got tossed out the window because they just didn't seem right for our baby. I actually had a girl name I had decided on, but then we found out it was a boy. The day we found out I pulled out my books and started hunting for his name. I really wanted something different that not everyone had, but also something that wasn't weird different.

I actually found the middle name first, but decided I would like it better as a middle name. I am actually not too sure where I got the first name, but when I said it I just knew that was the name I wanted! It was so right! I actually came up with this name the very same day we found out he was a boy. I was determined! haha. So without further adieu, I give you the name we have picked for little boy:

PAXTON CRUZ BENAVIDES

What a good name, right? I love it. It was also the only name I asked Ben about that he didn't make a horrible face to! I have actually told people who ask what the name will be so it wasn't a secret or anything. I just thought I would do a post about it since it means so much to me. Both sets of our parents and families love the name and now there is just no other name we can use. He is Paxton.

I also love it when mothers (I'm going to be a mom!! That's crazy!) get a piece of jewelry with their child's name or initials on it. I decided that was something I wanted to do after we got the name we wanted. So I started searching for a necklace I could get that would mean a lot to me. I thought I might just do James Avery and get a charm engraved, but I just didn't like any of the charms. Then, after searching Etsy FOREVER, I came across this Etsy site that I loved:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/lisahopkins

She does beautiful jewelry! I found a customizable necklace on her site and decided I just had to have one! So I started a convo with her and ordered a necklace with Paxton on it. She just now sent me pictures of the finished necklace, and I am so excited to get it! Here is what it will look like:

She does etched jewelry that I think is so cool. Way better than metal stamped jewelry! Anyways, I am super excited for my necklace AND the name we have picked out! Tomorrow we have childbirth education class all day so that should be loads of fun! haha. I took a few of those classes in nursing school, but I think it will be good for Ben. If he can make it through! lol. Everyone wish him luck! :)

30 Weeks.

So I decided I wanted a few pregnancy pictures of Ben and I together. I am not too hot on the prego pictures of just the woman and her bare belly all over the place. I mean, who would I ever share those with?? Most likely no one! I think these are way better because it shows mommy and daddy just being happy together! I actually had my sister Nicole take them, and then I edited them the way I wanted them. I love how they turned out if I do say so myself. Here are some of my favorites:

And here is a not-as-great baby bump picture.

I figured I would just slip my usual one in this post.

Here is the lump at 30 weeks.


I worked last night and then we went straight to our ultrasound appointment. Everything looked good on the ultrasound. He is healthy and growing. They did schedule us for another ultrasound in four weeks though because they said he is a little on the small side. They said they weren't worried though so I'm happy that we get to see baby boy again soon! Hey, I'm cool with a small baby since he's coming out of me! Well, I am super tired today! I slept for a few hours when we finally got home, but I am just worn out! At least I have tonight off! I plan on being lazy and trying to just rest! Maybe I will be ready to go back to work Wed and Thurs!

All Things Little Boy :)

So I have been looking for cute things for little boys, and I came across teddy bear hats (well that is what I call them). I thought they were so cute! Little girls get the hats with the flowers and bows, and so little boys need cute hats too! When I saw them I decided that I was going to try and make one. I have always enjoyed knitting so I figured I would knit it. It took quite a while but I finally came out with this:

I was making the hat thinking of my cute nephew Spencer since my little boy won't be here for a couple of months. When I was done making it Ben and I went to see Spencer to see if it fit. IT DID! And he looked so cute in it! All we had were phones to take pictures with, but you can see how it looks on him.

It might actually be a little snug for his head, but he still rocks it. He looked in the mirror and kept saying "bear, bear." Now, I dont know if he will acutally wear it, but I had fun making it and I plan on making one for my little guy too. Boys are so much fun!

Recap of 2009

Well, 2009 was probably one of the best years EVER for Ben and I.

There have been a lot of accomplishments!

I was going through my 2009 picture folder

and thought I would just go back over the highlights of last year!

In January Ben turned 24!

In February Ben and I went to College Station!

I was able to reuinite with my best college buddy Jenny!

We had a freaking blast!

March-April was pretty uneventful.

I did drive with my sister and Dad to Idaho.

We dropped my sister off at school there!

I was also still in school and DYING to be done!

In May I finally graduated from nursing school!

My family threw me a graduation party that weekend!

Fun times! All my favorites came!

Soon after that, I passed the licensing test and started working as an RN in the ICU.

Before I started working though, Ben and I took a trip to San Antonio and Corpus Christi in June.

I was able to meet more of Ben's family.

We had so much fun together!

We visited the malls, beaches, and just had a good time!

After our trip Ben and I pretty much just worked.

It wasn't soon after however (July), that we got the

best news OF OUR LIVES!

I WAS PREGNANT!

(This was the picture I sent to Ben when I found out.)

The rest of this year was pretty much me being pregnant! haha.

Ben and I have been working and getting ready for baby!

In October we found out we were having a boy!

November was my sweet nephews 2nd bday!

And in December, Ben and I took a trip to Dallas/Fort Worth to be there for my best friend Megan's wedding! We had such a good time just hanging out together! The wedding was beautiful!

Man. What a good year.

We feel so blessed in our lives right now.

Hopefully 2010 will bring some more great things to blog about!