The Story...

So I have been putting off this post because 1. I didn't really want to explain everything that has happened and 2. I didn't want to think about all of it again. BUT...I think it will be good for later on when my attempt at blocking out those horrible days works, and I can't remember what happened. SO, here I go.

On March 10, 2010 Ben and I went into the hospital at 9:00pm to start the induction process. The night went by surprisingly fast and the next morning (the 11th) we started with the induction pretty early in the morning. The day went really smoothly (of course I had drugs) and each time the nurse came in I had progressed even more. I was surprised at how fast I was progressing and by 1:00 in the afternoon the nurse said I was ready to push. ~Skipping all that fun stuff~ Paxton was born on March 11, 2010 at 1:41pm. When the nurses did the initial assessment Paxton seemed perfect so after I was done being fixed up, all our family came in and Paxton was passed around. I was even able to breast feed for the first time and hold Paxton for a while after he was born. I feel bad now knowing that he was sick, and we were all passing him around keeping him from going to the nursery.

(me looking hot right after. haha)

(Daddy got to hold Paxton for a long time)

(he was so happy to have his little boy)

After that, he was taken to the nursery to get cleaned up and checked out. While Paxton was in the nursery we all moved to another room and started all that fun "postpartum teaching" from one of the nurses. After a while, a nurse from the nursery and Paxton's pediatrician came in the room saying they had some news to give us about Paxton. They said that after Paxton got a bath he started grunting while breathing and was having difficulty catching his breath. They said that they were waiting on lab work but that he was being given oxygen. They thought he might have aspirated meconium causing his respiratory difficulty. They said that depending on the lab work he would either stay in the nursery or go to NICU. As soon as they said NICU I felt awful. This was not where I wanted Paxton, and I knew that if he went there he wouldn't just come right out.

So we had a hard time holding it together while we waited for the lab work, and when it came back the NICU Doctor announced Paxton must be 'rushed' to NICU. Yes, they used the word rushed and I lost it. Immediately my Dad and Ben went to the nursery to give Paxton a blessing. I have no doubt in my mind that the healing blessing Ben gave to Paxton saved him. One of the reasons they rushed Paxton to the NICU was because his white blood cell count (important in fighting infection) was 1.5. The normal on the lab slip for babies is at least 9. Later we were told that babies with a count that low had a mortality rate of 9 out of 10. I am so glad they didn't tell me that was how bad it was that night. However, after Paxton's blessing they did more lab work and his WBC count was already a 5, and the very next day it had doubled to a normal number. If that isn't a miracle I don't know what is. So they took our little boy to NICU, and all we really knew was that it might be meconium aspiration. We actually went down to NICU that night to see him and he was only under an oxygen hood.

The next morning was probably the worst day of our lives. They called us very early that morning from NICU and told us Paxton had to be intubated and was on a ventilator. They called again that morning and asked for consents to place all these lines in him to give medicine. After those calls Ben and I were distraught. We just sat on my hospital bed and cried together. I knew that it had to be more serious than they said, and that he would be there for a while if he was on the ventilator. That day we continued to get bad news after bad news. They told us that his infection had made him septic (meaning it was in the blood stream now and very dangerous), and that his condition was very unstable. They told us that Paxton had Group B Strep (which I had tested negative for) and that was what caused his septicemia.

(here is Paxton with all his tubes :( i don't like these pictures now)

(it was hard not being able to hold him. they didn't really even let us touch him much)

I will skip a ton of stuff because this post could be 38478435748 words long. After the initial horrible day things started progressing in the other direction pretty fast. Paxton was given many blessings by my Dad and Ben, and I can't even tell you the number of people that said they were praying for Paxton. He started to rapidly improve and everyday we were given better news. His tests started coming back with good results, and his Dr and the nurses were all blown away by how quickly he was healing. After a few days I was discharged from the hospital and had to leave Paxton there :( That was another rough day. Ben and I made so many trips to the hospital after that, and when I could finally start breast feeding I was up there every 3 hours. I got very sick of that hospital!!

(here is the first day we were able to hold him again. that was a good day)

Through all of that, I was really grateful for my nursing knowledge because the Doctor was able to explain things to me, and I understood what was going on. My ICU experience really ended up paying off because we were able to take Paxton home 4 days early to finish antibiotics at home. We are grateful for a wonderful Doctor and kind nurses who made the experience a lot better than it could have been. We are grateful to family members for taking turns driving me to the hospital and bringing us meals. Our families were so supportive and wonderful! We are SO grateful for all the prayers and kind words. I really believe we wouldn't have made it through without all those prayers. We are grateful to our Father in heaven and our Savior for healing our little boy and for the blessing that he has been in our lives. I am grateful for a wonderful husband who took such great care of me while I was healing and who was definitely my rock during those tough times. He was so wonderful and, everyday I just marvel at how lucky I am to have him. Words cannot express how grateful we are to everyone for everything. I wish I could thank each person individually for the love they showed us, but there are just to many people who have reached out to us. We are just overwhelmed with gratitude and love.

(here is Paxton the morning after our first night together. he was happy to be with us.)

(he was crying cause he wanted to go home already! this was his going home outfit he finally got to wear!)

The day finally came (10 days after Paxton was born) that we were able to take little boy home. We spent the night before at the hospital with Paxton and finally got out of there Monday, March 22 at about 5:00pm. It was of course a very happy day for all of us. AND NOW...life is great. Paxton is healthy and a wonderful addition to our family! He is our little miracle baby who was so tough and fought so hard. He is such a strong, sweet little boy. There is no doubt in my mind he has some pretty wonderful things to do in this life! So after all the horrible things and feelings we realize how blessed we are and lucky to have Paxton. I can't wait to be a full time mom!

(he's beautiful huh? MANY more pictures to come!)